When I went to college as a freshman, I did not know in advance even one other person who would be a classmate. I did know a few others from my church and from the Christian summer camp that I had worked at in high school who were upperclassmen in the school. But that did not help me on day one of orientation as a freshman.
Also complicating matters and leaving me unusually alone was the fact that the fellow who was to be my roommate was killed in an automobile crash about a week before our time of arrival, so I was the only freshman who did not have at least the partner relationship of a roommate to share and experience the orientation period together.
Being and feeling much alone over the first couple of days, I determined I needed to take action and connect myself to a couple of other guys. Looking around at those who were on my floor in the dorm, there were two guys who had been put randomly in the same room who seemed like they were my kind of people. One of them was very talkative and cheerful and the other was a muscular hunk of humanity and the heartthrob of every girl from the first day; both were into sports and planning on playing on the basketball and baseball teams (as was I). We became great friends and remain so to this day. Both were in my wedding party — the talkative guy was my best man.
However, there was another fellow who sort of came along as a “bonus.” He was from the same high school and church as the studmuffin friend. And he too was VERY talkative and incurably cheerful all the time. Beyond that, he was a music major like me. And then the big thing was this: the overly sentimental dude found out that we had the same birthdate … yep, the same year too! He determined that we just had to be great friends and he attached himself to me.
You couldn’t exactly dislike this guy, he was always so nice. But I didn’t think we shared nearly so much in common as he thought we did. He was not an athletic guy particularly, and he had a decidedly old-fashioned way of dressing and carrying himself. He was age 18 going on 65. Every time I turned around, it seemed I bumped into his big toothy smile. When I later finagled to get a single dorm room, he somehow worked it out to get the room immediately next to mine so that we could be together. He was like a human Labrador retriever. And I didn’t deserve his loyalty.
Over time, I simply got used to his presence and friendship and received it as a gift, even if it was kinda weird sometimes and not the best wingman for the game of feminine pursuit. Eventually, he too was a part of my wedding lineup of friends. How could I leave him out? And you’ll probably not be surprised to hear that he is a pastor of a church yet today and is one of the finest followers of Christ I have ever known.
I was not worthy of his kindness. I was operating under the more standard mode of interpersonal connection and interaction: I will be kind to those who deserve it, and if someone else is a jerk and does not deserve my kindness, I’ll tell him he is a jerk and an idiot in terms that are one click higher than the way he did it to me.
This other fellow was working with me on a different mode of interpersonal interaction: He was modeling the way Christ served others by extending grace and kindness, even when it was not deserved or earned or reciprocated.
Peter wrote to the chosen strangers who were the recipients of his letter to encourage them about how to behave in an oft-hostile culture where they were out of step with the world around them. He spoke of the oneness of mind and attitude that they should have first of all with each other in the family of faith. And beyond that, as they lived in kindness and grace with each other, to also extend that to the world around them, even when it was undeserved (or deserving of just the opposite).
This would give them the approval of God, a generally disarmed response from others, and a clear conscience and spotless record if falsely accused and slandered.
This would also mean that they would be following the model of Jesus Christ. He was the righteous, innocent one who took the sins of the guilty upon himself to bring us to God. As it says in Romans 5:8, Christ did this for us WHILE WE WERE YET SINNERS!
So extending consistent kindness and service to others, deserving or not, is not beyond a reasonable pattern of life for those who have received the grace that we have received from Christ.
8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. 11 They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. 12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” [from Psalm 34:12-16]
13 Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” [from Isaiah 8:12] 15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord.
Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17 For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 18 For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit.